THURSDAY THOUGHTS - Keep Trying To Learn and Grow

Guest Post:

Just over 16 years ago I was sitting at a meeting when fear clutched my heart. It was my first week working at Zions Bank and the manager conducting the meeting was using words like HECL, HURL, DDA, Relationship pricing and on and on. I might have just as well been listening to Russian because I didn’t know what any of these terms meant. Besides this fact, I barely knew how to send an email let alone anything about the computer programs I would be required to use in this position. To say I was frightened was an understatement. I have never been one to run away from a challenge so I sat up straight, pretended I knew what I was doing and fought against the urge I had to run out of the front door! Even after I had been at the job for three weeks I remember thinking to myself, “What have I done to myself? Will I ever be able to learn all I need to be successful here?” I kept trying to learn and grow, doing a lot of listening and very little talking (which was quite unusual for me….I have always been a talker). I tried to make each day a little better than the day before and to keep a positive frame of mind as I learned how to be effective and efficient at this new job. I distinctly remember after being at the bank for six months thinking to myself, “I think I am going to make it. This is all beginning to make sense to me now.”

I also remember back in December of 2008, being at the bank working when I received a phone call informing me that my biopsy was positive. I had Breast Cancer. Sitting in stunned silence, I felt fear and trepidation as I entered another world I knew nothing about. Before I knew it I had a surgeon, an oncologist and a pathologist, besides my regular doctor. I learned first hand about surgery, radiation, new medications, more frequent mammograms and doing the things I needed to do to regain my health.

A wise man once said, “Courage is not the absence of fear, it is the mastery of it.” I have found this principle to be very true in my life. By sticking with my bank job and working through my insecurities, I have found a career that is enjoyable and most fulfilling. Quitting when I felt overwhelmed would have served no purpose. Also, by continuing through my Cancer surgery, radiation treatments and taking my prescribed medication, I have reached a point where I have just one year to go and I will be finished with the five year program of treatment the doctors set out for me. I have also made lasting friendships with other Cancer patients in our Cancer survival group Lifting Hearts. Both of these scenarios proved to me that facing our fears and mastering them can be most beneficial in our lives. Now, when I run into a situation which arouses fear in me, I don’t run away, because I realize that some kind of growth is quite possibly right around the corner. That is why when I return from work tonight, I am going to go straight to my bedroom, pick up the iPAD I just purchased and learn how to work the extra keyboard I bought so I can begin typing the final draft of my next book!

Kathy Christensen