TUESDAY TIPS - Retreats

If you have never been to a cancer retreat, you are missing out! Last year, I was able to attend a free breast cancer retreat in Park City, Utah. The retreat was hosted by Image Reborn. I loved every minute of it. We had great food, discussions, art journaling, facials, yoga instruction, and more. It all took place in a gorgeous private home. It was a much needed, relaxing weekend.

I was recently offered a place at another retreat in December of this year, and I'm so excited! I can hardly wait. The retreat is put on by Women Beyond Cancer, and will be held in Park City also. Looking at their website, and at the past retreats they've held, it looks like we will have the opportunity to do some pretty amazing stuff - past retreat attendees have been able to do yoga, snow-shoeing, and hiking. I look forward to spending time with other survivors, and meeting the incredible people who are able to bring these retreat opportunities to survivors.

If you think this sounds fun, here is some information on the retreats you can attend in Utah...

Image Reborn: these retreats take place in Park City. They include a support group, nutrition, exercise, education, journaling, massage therapy, rejuvenation time. To register for a retreat, go to http://www.imagerebornfoundation.org/index.php

Here are two pictures of the group of survivors that I met at the Image Reborn retreat. We had a great time! That bathtub shows just how amazing this house was - it was in the master bath!!

The retreats for 2012 with Women Beyond Cancer are filled up, but they are taking applications for their 2013 retreats. Activities include: Hiking, Snowshoeing, massages, yoga, pool table, hut tubbing, shopping in Park City, Journaling, Relaxation, and Meditation. To sign up for one of the retreats offered by Women Beyond Cancer, go to http://www.womenbeyondcancer.org/welcome.html

Another retreat I've heard of is called Casting For Recovery. This retreat focuses on fly-fishing as a way to help survivors gain skills that will help them cope with recovery from breast cancer. The one being held this year is in September, at The Homestead. To register, go to http://castingforrecovery.org/home

These 3 retreats are all free to survivors. I think the important thing about these retreats is that they offer survivors the opportunity to sit down with other survivors, talk through their cancer journeys, enjoy some "sisterhood", and HEAL.

If you haven't gone to one of these retreats, sign up NOW. They fill up fast.

-Kara

THURSDAY THOUGHTS - Mom's Chair Will Be Waiting

Guest Post:

Last weekend Ron and I visited my father in St. George for LDS General Conference. This was our first visit since my mother's funeral about 10 weeks ago. She died of cancer of the bone marrow on January 15 of this year. I was somewhat uneasy as we neared St. George because I really didn't know what emotions would surface. I am happy to report that I was pleasantly surprised.

Some things were very different. My mother would always call us about three hours into the trip and say "Where are You?" That call, of course, was missing this time. Also, the last time we were there, the 1200 square foot condo was full of people preparing their assignments for her funeral. My brothers were practicing musical numbers as were my sister and I. This trip, my dad's sweaty old San Francisco 49ers baseball cap laid quietly on top of the piano keyboard, leaving me to think that the piano had not been used since then. When Ron and I arrived, the house was quiet. While Mom was alive, the TV was always on very loud because she couldn't hear well. We sat down and Daddy turned on the 10:00 news. I laughed as he fumbled with the TV remotes to their new HDTV, saying they were worse to operate than the control boards of a B-747! I am the same way. Mom was always better at this sort of thing. When the news came on, we realized that we had missed a Jazz game where they played Jimmer's team, the Sacramento Kings, and lost by one point. I looked at Daddy, and said in all seriousness, "You would NEVER have missed that game if Mom was still here!"

But some things were the same. The refrigerator was full of 8oz. Cokes. They were the perfect size for Mother. When she was here, they had them timed in the freezer for 37 minutes... just the right time to make them slushy. Now Daddy just puts them in a cup full of ice. Although there were not many people there, the treat counter was full of almonds, trail mix, mini Snicker bars, honey roasted peanuts, Tootsie Rolls, Fritos, and Chex Mix, as my father said to me in a woeful tone... "I have gained 10 pounds!"

I smiled as I entered the small guest bedroom where I found on the couch at least $50 worth of new yarn Daddy had purchased to make hats for the humanitarian group in his neighborhood. Beside the yarn were several circular looms used to create hats of different sized for those in need. Daddy uses two colors just like Mom taught him to and he has two Tupperware pitchers (on gallon size) where he keeps the yarn so it doesn't tangle while he works. I asked Daddy where he purchased the yarn and almost laughed out loud when he answered, "I avoid Walmart because the colors aren't as nice, so I pay more and go to JoAnn's." On the fridge there were several sticky notes taped on top of another with numbers on them. Daddy smiled proudly as he told me... "I have reached a milestone... 1003 hats, and that is just since I have been keeping track!" I was amazed.

Mom's clothes were gone so the walk in closet in their bedroom looked empty. Dad has four pair of walking shoes, two pair of dress shoes and assorted sweat pants and T Shirts. He has never been much for fancy clothes; he owns enough to look presentable on Sunday at church... that is all. They used to doze off and on through General Conference (don't we all?) and it was comforting to hear him snore from time to time. Mother's chair sat empty all the while we were there. The last years of her life were spent in that chair. To me, it seemed to be an unspoken reality that it is still hallowed ground... at least for now. Daddy has also mastered the art of keeping the bills paid and sending cards with $5 bills in them to each grandchild and great grandchild on their birthdays. Both of these skills were taught to him by my mother.

In "Tuesdays with Morrie", there is a wonderful quote where Morrie states: "As long as we can love each other and remember the feeling of love we had, we can die without ever really going away. All the love you created is still there. All the memories are still there. You live on in the hearts of everyone you have touched and nurtured while you were here... Death ends a life, not a relationship."

I was pleased to feel in my parents' home, a peace that was almost tangible. I brushed a few tears away as Daddy told me, "Sometimes when I doze off, I awaken and feel that Mother has been here just for a brief moment. This home is an endeared and treasured place because she is near."

I am happy to report that on Saturday, we watched the Jazz game as well as the NCAA semifinals. Mom would have been proud even though the Clippers won. As Ron and I left for home, I felt wonderfully peaceful inside about Daddy. He is happy, contented and functioning well. He complete hat #1004 during the last session on Conference and I'm sure #1005 will be completed in no time. Mom's chair will be waiting for me when I visit again... and who knos? I may even sit in it then.

-Kathy Christensen
Survivor
Member, Lifting Hearts

TUESDAY TIPS - Sing Along

Today, I'd like to point you to a post on Brenda Coffee's Breast Cancer Sisterhood. It's about the healing power of music. I whole-heartedly believe in this power to heal. I love music. Brenda talks about singing along with the song "Girls Just Want To Have Fun", and forgetting - for a moment - her troubles. I've had the same experience over and over again. I encourage you to read THIS post.

I wrote a similar post about music on July 25, 2011. Here is the link to that post, I you'd like to read it: MUSIC

I'll leave you with a quote I used in my previous post:

"When griping grief the heart doth wound, and doleful dumps the mind oppresses, then music, with her silver sound, with speedy help doth lend redress." -William Shakespeare

(Many of our members love music as well... take a few minutes to scroll down to the bottom of the blog, and listen to some of our members' favorite music.)

THURSDAY THOUGHTS - A Front Row Seat To The Real Experience

Guest Post...

One of my favorite authors is Dr. Rachel Naomi Remen. Her books "Kitchen Table Wisdom" and "My Grandfather's Blessings" have both had a dramatic effect on the way I live my life. I have long been an over achiever, one who finds it most difficult to sit still for very long. I am happy to report that I am becoming much better at enjoying the moments in my life, and that I am slowing down a bit. I have always been a writer of non fiction because I love to read the real life experiences of others. I feel and have always felt that there is so much we can learn from each other.

Dr. Remen states:

"Everybody is a story. When I was a child, people sat around the kitchen tables and told their stories. We don't do that so much anymore. Sitting around the table telling stories is not just a way of passing time. It is the way the wisdom gets passed along. The stuff that helps us live a life worth remembering. Despite the awesome powers of technology many of us still do not live very well. We may need to listen to each others stories once again. The stories we can tell each other have no beginning and ending. They are a front-row seat to the real experience. Even though they may have happened in a different time or place they have a familiar feel. In some way they are about us too. Real stories take time. We stopped telling stories when we started to lose that sort of time, pausing time, reflecting time,wondering time. Life rushes us along and few people are strong enough to stop on their own. Most often, something unforeseen stops us and it is only then we have the time to take a seat at life's kitchen table. To know our own story and tell it. To listen other people's stories. To remember that the real world is made of such stories. We have become solitary readers and watchers rather than sharers and participants."

I feel that the members of Lifting Hearts know the magical healing power of stories. It is on this playing field that we listen and share with each other. I have found comfort in this group and I know many others have as well. We are safe here to express our concerns, our setbacks and our victories with those who will listen and offer support. I think Dr. Rachel Naomi Remen would be very proud of all of us! We are not letting Cancer beat us... we are allowing it to make us better and stronger!

Kathy Christensen
Member of Lifting Hearts
Survivor
Guest Blogger

MONDAY MENTIONABLES - The Healing Power of Music

"When griping grief the heart doth wound, and doleful dumps the mind oppresses, then music, with her silver sound, with speedy help doth lend redress." -William Shakespeare

A few weeks ago, as I was waiting in a doctor's office for my son, I read an interesting article in a magazine called "Healthy Utah". The article was about the healing power of music. It was called "The Sound of Music - Health and Healing" by Sarah Sanders

I thought I'd share some of that article here...

Ms. Sanders sited a study at Tel Aviv University that "found that premature babies who listen to music by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart may gain weight faster than those who don't." There have also been studies on the effects of happiness - laughter can open up blood vessels, allowing better circulation, and music also can impact your blood pressure and stress levels. Dr. Mike Miller, of the Maryland Medical Center said: "Turns out music may be one of the best de-stressors - either by playing or even listening to music. It gives us an overall feeling of good, well-being, a sense of euphoria in some cases."

"Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life." --Berthold Auerbach

In addition to this article that I read, I watched a NOVA episode on music. It was really amazing. The episode was called Musical Minds, and showed how the power of music can make the brain come alive. It followed 2 different people, one with autism and one with Tourette's syndrome. I watched in wonder as the individual with severe autism was able to play the most beautiful music on the piano. I'm a pianist, and I know how much work goes in to playing well. This man is able to listen to a highly complex piece of music once, and then play it back perfectly. During the time that he plays, he is the master of his universe. The man with Tourette's syndrome found that if he plays the drums, he isn't affected by Tourette's. He shakes and jerks severely until he picks up the drum sticks - and then he plays perfectly. And for the time that he is playing, he is the master of his universe.

Back to the article by Ms. Sanders... she talks about the "place music has with patients who have brain damage. Psychologist Ted Rubinstein said music is so complex that it's the only experience that activates almost every part of the brain. Music can simply bypass the brain's damaged language centers and create new pathways to the part of the brain that processes the music."

The fact that music can help us be healthy and heal intrigues me. I've noticed that, for years, whenever I'm upset, just about the only way I can calm down is by sitting down at the piano, and playing. And, my family knows that I'm upset by the way I play. I try to play songs that help me destress - they start out fast and furious, and finally I end up with soft, beautiful music. I've never wondered why I do this, until now - this article and the NOVA special can perhaps explain why.

I was taught as a child to enjoy and appreciate all kinds of music. I'm grateful for this, because different kinds of music affect me in different ways...

Rock music is what I listen to when I exercise and lift weights - it seems to get my blood pumping and keeps me going. Give me Yellowcard, Cold Play, All American Rejects - anything that has a strong beat.

When I'm walking in the morning - and the world is still and quiet - I listen to hymns played on the piano and violin. It calms my soul. I love Todd McCabe and April Moriarty's CDs.

When I'm in a romantic mood, I listen to jazz and blues. Louis Armstrong, Ella Fitzgerald, and Frank Sinatra are some of my favorites.

When I'm feeling nostalgic, I turn on the Beatles, Simon and Garfunkel, or James Taylor - there is nothing better!

Every once in a while, I'll listen to the soundtrack from a favorite movie - Harry Potter, Pirates, Lord of the Rings, Phantom of the Opera - these take me right back to the theater and the excitement of seeing those shows for the first time.

In a play called "The Mourning Bride" from 1697, Almeria says: "Music has charms to soothe a savage breast". I've heard it this way - "Music calms the savage beast". My son, Alex, knows this. Whenever I get angry with him, he picks up his guitar and just starts playing. I get quite distracted when he does this, and he knows it. He knows how much I love to just sit and listen to him play. Smart kid.

What about you? Have you noticed the effects of music - can it calm you, make you feel better? What is your favorite music? Before you leave the blog today, check out the playlist at the bottom of the blog - these are songs that our members chose to share - these are the songs that help them feel better.

Have a lovely, musical, day!

-Kara

MONDAY MEMOIRS - Fellow Survivors - Sisters...

This last week - on Thursday - Sister Survivors had their Kick Off. It was such a pleasant night. I met many new breast cancer "sisters". I wish I would have had more time to talk to them. Today, I thought it would be good to write about the other breast cancer survivors we've met throughout our cancer journeys.

For me, meeting other women who have gone through this has been an important step in my healing.

First, there were the women in my family and my friends - they helped me see that there is hope - that I can do what it takes to fight breast cancer.

Then there were the women I saw at the hospital/medical centers... those having chemo, or tests. I learned to recognize them by their bald heads, and beautiful countenances. These were my fellow survivors - and they helped me realize that I wasn't the only one fighting breast cancer.

Finally, there are those women I've met through Sister Survivors. These women have a passion similar to mine. We all want to make sure something good comes from our cancer battle - and helping other women with the fight is an important part of that.

Open your cancer journal today, and write about some of the women you've met who have helped you make sense of your cancer journey. Gratitude is the key here - keep your gratitude in mind while thinking of who to write about.

MONDAY MEMOIRS - Cancer Words...

James Earl Jones said:
“One of the hardest things in life is having words in your heart that you can't utter.”

Get your writing journal out and list any "cancer" words you can think of. Then, pick a word and write about how that word has become part of your vocabulary. Let that word or words take you into your cancer story and let the memories wash over you. Write down an experience you had with that word.

I truly believe that writing about our cancer journey will help us to heal.

-Kara