Guest Post: One of the most valuable tips I have learned through many years of living is to "value and protect my white space". I know that may sound a little strange, so let me explain myself.
Many of us keep our calendars over loaded, then pat ourselves on the back for all the good things we accomplish, while ignoring the knots in our stomachs, which are trying to warn us of physical and emotional overload. I was a prime example of this in my younger years. To put it mildly, I was a mess. I have found that many, if not most of life's treasured memories occur during the "white space" on our calendars; the times when we slow down enough to spiritually feel what is going on around us.
Our family meets each week for Sunday dinner. This is sacred time and nothing interferes with it unless we are out of town, and we don't travel that often. One Sunday evening after dinner was cleaned up, Allie, my granddaughter, and I were snuggled up on the porch swing. Ron and the guys were somewhere else, so it was just the two of us. We snuggled there for quite a while without saying a word to each other. Finally after about 20 or 30 minutes she looked at me and said, "Grandma, you know what?" I could tell that she wanted to tell me something that was very important to her, so I encouraged her to continue. "Well," she hesitated a bit and then told me, "When my mom and dad got divorced... I cried." It was as if she had to build up the courage to tell me a huge secret. "Of course you did," I told her, "That was a most difficult time for you." Then we snuggled some more. I couldn't help thinking to myself how many precious moments like this we miss because we are in such a rush.
While I was engaged in this train of thought, my mind traveled back some 28 or 29 years to the awful day that I nearly backed over my youngest son, Nick, with the car. I don't think there was ANY white space on my calendar back then. This accident happened because I was over committed and over extended, which caused me to be in too big of a hurry. Thankfully, his wounds, although gruesome to look at, were all of a surface nature and our doctor told us that in time, he would be good as new. To this day, whenever I hear one of those awful news stories about some parent accidentally running over a child, I stop and offer yet another prayer of gratitude that my sons' life was spared.
I am happy to report that this experience changed my life for the better. I am no longer a "human doing" and I have worked hard to schedule plenty of white space in my calendar... time to "just be". Being diagnosed with cancer was yet another wake up call in my life. I realized that my remaining years would be much healthier and more rewarding if I guarded and valued the white space on my calendar. I try to listen more carefully when my body signals that I need a break. Frazzled brains, knots in stomachs, aching feet, tired backs, and tension headaches are all trying to say, "Slow down a little... take time to 'just be' and listen to what I am trying to tell you."
Richard Carlson, the best selling author and one of my favorites, speaks to this topic: "Creating blocks of time in your calendar where absolutely nothing is planned contributes to the feeling of peace, the feeling that you have enough time... this white space time has become one of the most important schedules on my calendar and is something I have learned to protect and value... it creates a needed degree of balance that nurtures my soul. Without it, life seems too hectic and overwhelming."
This practice has added a lot of peace and a measure of needed tranquility in my life. I still work at it but it is worth the effort and assures, to a greater level, that I will be there and ready to listen the next time my grandchildren, husband... or anyone for that matter... has an important confidence to share with me.
-Kathy Christensen
Survivor
Member, Lifting Hearts
