This year for Father’s Day I gave my husband, Ron, A CD by Darius Rucker (formerly Hootie of Hootie and the Blowfish.) I loved the entire CD and the feel of his music, but my attention was immediately captured by the chorus of one of his songs because I totally related to the simple message it portrays. It goes like this:
I need some front porch rockin”
some back street walkin”
some sittin’ ‘round talkin’ ‘bout nothin’
I need the screen door slammin’
some homemade jam an’
some biscuits bakin’ in the oven
I need a little fun with my little one
a little gospel on Sunday
I need some hangin’ ‘round my little town
in a big way.
While I was humming the chorus of this catchy tune I made my way to clean up after our Sunday gathering where 13 of us met for dinner. I found melted ice cream on the table, paper napkins scattered about, a couple of dessert dishes near some empty pop cans and the chairs were all askew. I chuckled with gratitude as I recalled our evening together. It seems that when we gather the stories get bigger, the laughter gets louder and the family roots go deeper. Bonding and chillin’ together is so therapeutic and all of us left feeling better than when we came.
Whether we are planning a wedding, waiting for a grandchild to be born, celebrating a graduation, fighting our way through an emotional rough spot, trudging through Cancer treatments, stretching an already t-i-g-h-t budget, emerging on the other side of a divorce, or simply gathering for a Sunday Dinner, there is much strength and comfort in “Sittin’ ‘round talkin’ ‘bout nothin’!” In our fast paced life these days perhaps we should make time to do it a little more often.
Kathy Christensen
Survivor
Member, Lifting Hearts
Showing posts with label Relax. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Relax. Show all posts
Friday, July 13, 2012
Sunday, May 6, 2012
THURSDAY THOUGHTS - White Space...Needed Tranquility
Oops! I completely forgot about this blog this week! What in the WORLD?
Guest Post: One of the most valuable tips I have learned through many years of living is to "value and protect my white space". I know that may sound a little strange, so let me explain myself.
Many of us keep our calendars over loaded, then pat ourselves on the back for all the good things we accomplish, while ignoring the knots in our stomachs, which are trying to warn us of physical and emotional overload. I was a prime example of this in my younger years. To put it mildly, I was a mess. I have found that many, if not most of life's treasured memories occur during the "white space" on our calendars; the times when we slow down enough to spiritually feel what is going on around us.
Our family meets each week for Sunday dinner. This is sacred time and nothing interferes with it unless we are out of town, and we don't travel that often. One Sunday evening after dinner was cleaned up, Allie, my granddaughter, and I were snuggled up on the porch swing. Ron and the guys were somewhere else, so it was just the two of us. We snuggled there for quite a while without saying a word to each other. Finally after about 20 or 30 minutes she looked at me and said, "Grandma, you know what?" I could tell that she wanted to tell me something that was very important to her, so I encouraged her to continue. "Well," she hesitated a bit and then told me, "When my mom and dad got divorced... I cried." It was as if she had to build up the courage to tell me a huge secret. "Of course you did," I told her, "That was a most difficult time for you." Then we snuggled some more. I couldn't help thinking to myself how many precious moments like this we miss because we are in such a rush.
While I was engaged in this train of thought, my mind traveled back some 28 or 29 years to the awful day that I nearly backed over my youngest son, Nick, with the car. I don't think there was ANY white space on my calendar back then. This accident happened because I was over committed and over extended, which caused me to be in too big of a hurry. Thankfully, his wounds, although gruesome to look at, were all of a surface nature and our doctor told us that in time, he would be good as new. To this day, whenever I hear one of those awful news stories about some parent accidentally running over a child, I stop and offer yet another prayer of gratitude that my sons' life was spared.
I am happy to report that this experience changed my life for the better. I am no longer a "human doing" and I have worked hard to schedule plenty of white space in my calendar... time to "just be". Being diagnosed with cancer was yet another wake up call in my life. I realized that my remaining years would be much healthier and more rewarding if I guarded and valued the white space on my calendar. I try to listen more carefully when my body signals that I need a break. Frazzled brains, knots in stomachs, aching feet, tired backs, and tension headaches are all trying to say, "Slow down a little... take time to 'just be' and listen to what I am trying to tell you."
Richard Carlson, the best selling author and one of my favorites, speaks to this topic: "Creating blocks of time in your calendar where absolutely nothing is planned contributes to the feeling of peace, the feeling that you have enough time... this white space time has become one of the most important schedules on my calendar and is something I have learned to protect and value... it creates a needed degree of balance that nurtures my soul. Without it, life seems too hectic and overwhelming."
This practice has added a lot of peace and a measure of needed tranquility in my life. I still work at it but it is worth the effort and assures, to a greater level, that I will be there and ready to listen the next time my grandchildren, husband... or anyone for that matter... has an important confidence to share with me.
-Kathy Christensen
Survivor
Member, Lifting Hearts
Guest Post: One of the most valuable tips I have learned through many years of living is to "value and protect my white space". I know that may sound a little strange, so let me explain myself.
Many of us keep our calendars over loaded, then pat ourselves on the back for all the good things we accomplish, while ignoring the knots in our stomachs, which are trying to warn us of physical and emotional overload. I was a prime example of this in my younger years. To put it mildly, I was a mess. I have found that many, if not most of life's treasured memories occur during the "white space" on our calendars; the times when we slow down enough to spiritually feel what is going on around us.
Our family meets each week for Sunday dinner. This is sacred time and nothing interferes with it unless we are out of town, and we don't travel that often. One Sunday evening after dinner was cleaned up, Allie, my granddaughter, and I were snuggled up on the porch swing. Ron and the guys were somewhere else, so it was just the two of us. We snuggled there for quite a while without saying a word to each other. Finally after about 20 or 30 minutes she looked at me and said, "Grandma, you know what?" I could tell that she wanted to tell me something that was very important to her, so I encouraged her to continue. "Well," she hesitated a bit and then told me, "When my mom and dad got divorced... I cried." It was as if she had to build up the courage to tell me a huge secret. "Of course you did," I told her, "That was a most difficult time for you." Then we snuggled some more. I couldn't help thinking to myself how many precious moments like this we miss because we are in such a rush.
While I was engaged in this train of thought, my mind traveled back some 28 or 29 years to the awful day that I nearly backed over my youngest son, Nick, with the car. I don't think there was ANY white space on my calendar back then. This accident happened because I was over committed and over extended, which caused me to be in too big of a hurry. Thankfully, his wounds, although gruesome to look at, were all of a surface nature and our doctor told us that in time, he would be good as new. To this day, whenever I hear one of those awful news stories about some parent accidentally running over a child, I stop and offer yet another prayer of gratitude that my sons' life was spared.
I am happy to report that this experience changed my life for the better. I am no longer a "human doing" and I have worked hard to schedule plenty of white space in my calendar... time to "just be". Being diagnosed with cancer was yet another wake up call in my life. I realized that my remaining years would be much healthier and more rewarding if I guarded and valued the white space on my calendar. I try to listen more carefully when my body signals that I need a break. Frazzled brains, knots in stomachs, aching feet, tired backs, and tension headaches are all trying to say, "Slow down a little... take time to 'just be' and listen to what I am trying to tell you."
Richard Carlson, the best selling author and one of my favorites, speaks to this topic: "Creating blocks of time in your calendar where absolutely nothing is planned contributes to the feeling of peace, the feeling that you have enough time... this white space time has become one of the most important schedules on my calendar and is something I have learned to protect and value... it creates a needed degree of balance that nurtures my soul. Without it, life seems too hectic and overwhelming."
This practice has added a lot of peace and a measure of needed tranquility in my life. I still work at it but it is worth the effort and assures, to a greater level, that I will be there and ready to listen the next time my grandchildren, husband... or anyone for that matter... has an important confidence to share with me.
-Kathy Christensen
Survivor
Member, Lifting Hearts
Saturday, December 10, 2011
THURSDAY THOUGHTS - A Day To Be Alone With Myself
Well, I'm done recovering from our great Christmas party! I was SO happy to welcome all of you into my home. I hope everyone had a great time. It was nice to be able to visit with those who were able to come.
Because I was so busy getting ready for the party on Thursday, I skipped Kathy's Thursday Thoughts post. So, I thought I'd post it today. Enjoy...
Many years ago when I was a teenager and also in college, I used to go non stop like many of us do at that age. I only stopped when I went to bed and that is no lie. There were so many activities, so many friends, studies, work, and more extracurricular activities than I can list here. I remember thinking to myself that the more I got done, the better person I was. I even remember my youngest son saying to me one day, “Mom……you only stop when you’re asleep!”
I am happy to report that I have changed a lot since then. Although I stay plenty busy, I have stopped being a “human doing.” I have realized through the school of hard knocks that we need to take care of ourselves and getting enough rest and solitude is part of that equation. I remember on a few occasions scheduling a day off work just for me. I gathered a blanket, my favorite books, a journal, a bag lunch and of course a big Coke and headed for the mountains. I have a few favorite places when I take a day like this, where I can be totally alone by a creek so I can listen as it rustles by (one of the most soothing sounds imaginable). I have found these days to be most beneficial, especially to a person like me who tends to be hyper much of the time. I found that I was able to key down, reconnect with myself, clear my head and basically reconnect with the center of my soul……the part that gets squished into the background much too often. Sometimes I even fell into an incredibly restful sleep, which was therapeutic on many levels because at night, I sometimes have a difficult time getting my mind to quiet down enough to sleep.
A couple of weeks ago I saw a book entitled, “The World According to Mr. Rogers.” My mind immediately traveled back over 30 years to the time my first son watched “Mr. Rogers Neighborhood” each and every day. He would get his own little cardigan sweater and put it on just as Mr. Rogers did and each day I could hear him say to himself, “ I like you just the way you are,” a fitting message for each of us to learn and apply to our own lives. While remembering these happy memories from long ago, I purchased the book, took it home and began reading its many messages; Words of advice from a man who has influenced millions of children around the world. You can imagine my surprise and delight when found the following quote: “ It is important to know when we need to stop, reflect, and receive. In our competitive world, that might be called a waste of time. I’ve learned that those times can be the preamble to periods of enormous growth. Recently, I declared a day to be alone with myself. I took a long drive and played a tape. When I got to the mountains, I read and prayed and listened and slept. In fact, I can’t remember having a calmer sleep in a long time. The next day I went back to work and did more than I usually get done in three days.”
This message resonated with me in such a powerful way and I realized that maybe this change in my behavior is not appearing now simply because I am getting older. It is happening because I am getting wiser. Yesterday I told my youngest son to take some quality time to himself each and every day because it is healthy and pays great dividends. He gave me a simple answer, “Mother…..that is why I run.” I guess we all do it in our own way, but it is well worth the effort to create that habit and stick to it. Mr. Rogers has never guided anyone on a wrong course yet!
Kathy Christensen
Survivor
Guest Blogger
Member of Lifting Hearts
Because I was so busy getting ready for the party on Thursday, I skipped Kathy's Thursday Thoughts post. So, I thought I'd post it today. Enjoy...
Many years ago when I was a teenager and also in college, I used to go non stop like many of us do at that age. I only stopped when I went to bed and that is no lie. There were so many activities, so many friends, studies, work, and more extracurricular activities than I can list here. I remember thinking to myself that the more I got done, the better person I was. I even remember my youngest son saying to me one day, “Mom……you only stop when you’re asleep!”
I am happy to report that I have changed a lot since then. Although I stay plenty busy, I have stopped being a “human doing.” I have realized through the school of hard knocks that we need to take care of ourselves and getting enough rest and solitude is part of that equation. I remember on a few occasions scheduling a day off work just for me. I gathered a blanket, my favorite books, a journal, a bag lunch and of course a big Coke and headed for the mountains. I have a few favorite places when I take a day like this, where I can be totally alone by a creek so I can listen as it rustles by (one of the most soothing sounds imaginable). I have found these days to be most beneficial, especially to a person like me who tends to be hyper much of the time. I found that I was able to key down, reconnect with myself, clear my head and basically reconnect with the center of my soul……the part that gets squished into the background much too often. Sometimes I even fell into an incredibly restful sleep, which was therapeutic on many levels because at night, I sometimes have a difficult time getting my mind to quiet down enough to sleep.
A couple of weeks ago I saw a book entitled, “The World According to Mr. Rogers.” My mind immediately traveled back over 30 years to the time my first son watched “Mr. Rogers Neighborhood” each and every day. He would get his own little cardigan sweater and put it on just as Mr. Rogers did and each day I could hear him say to himself, “ I like you just the way you are,” a fitting message for each of us to learn and apply to our own lives. While remembering these happy memories from long ago, I purchased the book, took it home and began reading its many messages; Words of advice from a man who has influenced millions of children around the world. You can imagine my surprise and delight when found the following quote: “ It is important to know when we need to stop, reflect, and receive. In our competitive world, that might be called a waste of time. I’ve learned that those times can be the preamble to periods of enormous growth. Recently, I declared a day to be alone with myself. I took a long drive and played a tape. When I got to the mountains, I read and prayed and listened and slept. In fact, I can’t remember having a calmer sleep in a long time. The next day I went back to work and did more than I usually get done in three days.”
This message resonated with me in such a powerful way and I realized that maybe this change in my behavior is not appearing now simply because I am getting older. It is happening because I am getting wiser. Yesterday I told my youngest son to take some quality time to himself each and every day because it is healthy and pays great dividends. He gave me a simple answer, “Mother…..that is why I run.” I guess we all do it in our own way, but it is well worth the effort to create that habit and stick to it. Mr. Rogers has never guided anyone on a wrong course yet!
Kathy Christensen
Survivor
Guest Blogger
Member of Lifting Hearts
Saturday, September 17, 2011
SATURDAY STRENGTH: Relaxation Exercises
I was recently reading about ways to control pain, and I stumbled across an article on WebMD about stress relaxation and natural pain relief. The article talked about how chronic stress is one factor that contributes to chronic pain. It went on to mention the benefits of relaxation exercises...
"The good news is that you can get natural pain relief by making relaxation exercises a part of your pain-management plan."
"Relaxation exercises calm your mind, reduce stress hormones in your blood, relax your muscles, and elevate your sense of well-being. Using them regularly can lead to long-term changes in your body to counteract the harmful effects of stress."
I thought I'd share a few of the relaxation exercises they list here...
Foursquare breathing. Breathe deeply, so that your abdomen expands and contracts like a balloon with each breath. Inhale to a count of four, hold for a count of four, exhale to a count of four, then hold to a count of four. Repeat for ten cycles.
Guided imagery. Breathe slowly and deeply. For example, imagine a tranquil scene in which you feel comfortable, safe, and relaxed. Include colors, sounds, smells, and your feelings. Do five to ten minutes each day.
Mindfulness meditation. Sit or lie quietly and notice your breathing without controlling it. If pain or thoughts interfere, simply notice them without trying to push them away. Think of them as a cloud passing over; then return to observing your breath. Do this for about 20 minutes.
There are a few other options for relaxation exercises in the article HERE.
I tried some breathing exercises while I was at a cancer retreat, and was surprised at how effective they were. The article also mentioned a few other "relaxation methods:
"Choose whatever relaxes you: music, prayer, gardening, going for a walk, talking with a friend on the phone."
Yesterday, I was going through my music, looking for something that would help calm me. I love music, and so I was pleased to see that listed in the WebMD article. If you like spiritual music, try these:
"On This Holy Day" by Mark Geslison & Geoff Groberg (these are instrumental hymn arrangements)
"My Redeemer Lives" Series (4 CDs) by Todd McCabe (piano), and April Moriarty (violin)
Volume 1: Calvary, Volume 2: Galilee, Volume 3: Bethlehem (Christmas), Volume 4: Gethsemane
Try playing some relaxing, inspirational music while you do the breathing techniques listed in the article.
"The good news is that you can get natural pain relief by making relaxation exercises a part of your pain-management plan."
"Relaxation exercises calm your mind, reduce stress hormones in your blood, relax your muscles, and elevate your sense of well-being. Using them regularly can lead to long-term changes in your body to counteract the harmful effects of stress."
I thought I'd share a few of the relaxation exercises they list here...
Foursquare breathing. Breathe deeply, so that your abdomen expands and contracts like a balloon with each breath. Inhale to a count of four, hold for a count of four, exhale to a count of four, then hold to a count of four. Repeat for ten cycles.
Guided imagery. Breathe slowly and deeply. For example, imagine a tranquil scene in which you feel comfortable, safe, and relaxed. Include colors, sounds, smells, and your feelings. Do five to ten minutes each day.
Mindfulness meditation. Sit or lie quietly and notice your breathing without controlling it. If pain or thoughts interfere, simply notice them without trying to push them away. Think of them as a cloud passing over; then return to observing your breath. Do this for about 20 minutes.
There are a few other options for relaxation exercises in the article HERE.
I tried some breathing exercises while I was at a cancer retreat, and was surprised at how effective they were. The article also mentioned a few other "relaxation methods:
"Choose whatever relaxes you: music, prayer, gardening, going for a walk, talking with a friend on the phone."
Yesterday, I was going through my music, looking for something that would help calm me. I love music, and so I was pleased to see that listed in the WebMD article. If you like spiritual music, try these:
"On This Holy Day" by Mark Geslison & Geoff Groberg (these are instrumental hymn arrangements)
"My Redeemer Lives" Series (4 CDs) by Todd McCabe (piano), and April Moriarty (violin)
Volume 1: Calvary, Volume 2: Galilee, Volume 3: Bethlehem (Christmas), Volume 4: Gethsemane
Try playing some relaxing, inspirational music while you do the breathing techniques listed in the article.
Thursday, December 9, 2010
THURSDAY THOUGHTS - River Trip
Guest blogger, Kathy Christensen sent in this post:
Back in June of 1996, I took my three sons on an eight day river trip through the Grand Canyon. It was a trip I had planned and saved for years to take. What an experience it was! We were in the hands of capable and well trained river guides and it was indeed the trip of a life time for us. On the first day they taught us what to do if we went overboard; how to breathe; how to use our feet to keep the boulders away; how to stay calm....you get the drift. Just after lunch we boarded the rafts to begin our progression through the rapid named "Hermit". They had just flooded the canyon and that stretch of water looked anything but inviting. My boys wanted to go first, so off we went (after the river guides had carefully scouted the water and how it was running) The rest of the group stayed back to photograph us as we went through. The waves were huge and to say the least, my heart was in my throat. I was in the back of the raft while my three sons were up front trying to keep the nose of the boat down as the river guide proceeded to move us through the rapids. Well, to make a long story short, the raft flipped and I kept moving forward, while my boys were picked up quickly. They had moved safely in to an eddy, and were put back in the raft. Then the river guide and my sons were off to get me. Of course I was panic stricken as I tried to decide when to breathe while those huge waves began smashing down on me. I honestly thought "This might be it....my life might end right here!" The river guides were true pros and they had us all back on the shore within 30 minutes, and no worse for the wear except my frazzled nerves. The guide told us that the river is very forgiving and the thing that kills people is panic and fear. If you relax and go with the flow, things usually work out. I have found that the same principle applies when dealing with Cancer. No good comes from unrest. Unrest, fear, panic, anger or sadness may motivate us, but our best effort emerges after these feelings have been replaced by peace. We will not accomplish our task and sooner or any better by performing it out of a sense of urgency, fear, panic or sadness. Let go of unrest. Let peace fill the void. We do not have to forget our God-given personal power (or our peace)to do the work we are called upon to do today. Let peace come first. Then proceed. The task will get done naturally and on time.
(some thoughts used from Melodie Beattie's book "The Language of Letting Go.")
Back in June of 1996, I took my three sons on an eight day river trip through the Grand Canyon. It was a trip I had planned and saved for years to take. What an experience it was! We were in the hands of capable and well trained river guides and it was indeed the trip of a life time for us. On the first day they taught us what to do if we went overboard; how to breathe; how to use our feet to keep the boulders away; how to stay calm....you get the drift. Just after lunch we boarded the rafts to begin our progression through the rapid named "Hermit". They had just flooded the canyon and that stretch of water looked anything but inviting. My boys wanted to go first, so off we went (after the river guides had carefully scouted the water and how it was running) The rest of the group stayed back to photograph us as we went through. The waves were huge and to say the least, my heart was in my throat. I was in the back of the raft while my three sons were up front trying to keep the nose of the boat down as the river guide proceeded to move us through the rapids. Well, to make a long story short, the raft flipped and I kept moving forward, while my boys were picked up quickly. They had moved safely in to an eddy, and were put back in the raft. Then the river guide and my sons were off to get me. Of course I was panic stricken as I tried to decide when to breathe while those huge waves began smashing down on me. I honestly thought "This might be it....my life might end right here!" The river guides were true pros and they had us all back on the shore within 30 minutes, and no worse for the wear except my frazzled nerves. The guide told us that the river is very forgiving and the thing that kills people is panic and fear. If you relax and go with the flow, things usually work out. I have found that the same principle applies when dealing with Cancer. No good comes from unrest. Unrest, fear, panic, anger or sadness may motivate us, but our best effort emerges after these feelings have been replaced by peace. We will not accomplish our task and sooner or any better by performing it out of a sense of urgency, fear, panic or sadness. Let go of unrest. Let peace fill the void. We do not have to forget our God-given personal power (or our peace)to do the work we are called upon to do today. Let peace come first. Then proceed. The task will get done naturally and on time.
(some thoughts used from Melodie Beattie's book "The Language of Letting Go.")
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