THURSDAY THOUGHTS - Cheerleaders on the Sidelines

Guest Post:

Some thirty three years ago, I was the mother of three little boys ages four and under. My husband traveled a great deal for his job so I jumped head over heels into the world of motherhood and running a household. I decided that despite a budget that was tight as a fiddle string, I would take three hours for myself on Wednesday afternoons. My instincts told me that a reliable babysitter and three hours to myself would be as beneficial as therapy and a lot less expensive. This small break from diapers, feeding schedules and potty training would be good for me and my boys and make me a better and more effective mother in the long run. I found myself looking forward to Wednesday afternoons as they approached each week. This small reprieve gave me a sense of balance in my life.

During the last month Tristan, our newest grandson, has been spending three hours with us on Thursday nights because his parents, who live in Cottonwood Heights, have a commitment in Utah County. The thought hit me how ironic it is that I now look forward to my three hours with Tristan each week as much as I looked forward to Wednesday afternoons to myself thirty three years ago. For these three precious hours I can forget about bank deadlines, loan closings and the quotas I am required to,meet each day at my job. I found changing Tristan's diaper not to be a duty, but a joyful opportunity. Last Thursday as I saw my precious three hours passing, I woke him so I could share more of his waking moments. It helped me to remember how precious childhood is and what is truly important in our lives. These three hours spent consistently each week with Tristan will be the basis of a strong and healthy relationship with him in the future. It also helps me to be a better employee at the bank when I return to work.

As we navigate through our life's journey, it is sobering to reach the point where our children have lives, jobs, children and commitments of their own. Years ago, a little time away was a healthy break; now they are away most of the time and a few hours with them and their children is a treasured event.
A wise friend recently told me, "We are cheerleaders on the sidelines now, in the bleachers, not the locker rooms of their lives and they will tell us what they need from us." I found this to be a brilliant analogy of the transition I am experiencing as a mother and a grandmother.

I suppose that the only consistent thing in life is change and I am sure there will be many more for me as my life progresses. I will adapt to them as I have these recent changes in my life because as a wise man once said, "When we're through changing we're through!"

MONDAY MOTIVATION - Changes

It's been a busy week so far for me and my family - actually, it's been a busy year! I got a letter at the beginning of this week from my son Michael, who is serving an LDS religious mission in Mexico.  The subject of that letter was "Changes".  We've had a lot of changes in our lives over the past 4 months.  As these changes have occured, we've each shared those changes with Michael in our letters.

Some of those changes include:

Me losing over 50 pounds, and starting on the road to regaining my health after my cancer journey.

My husband deciding to lose weight in order to feel better (he doesn't have much to lose - maybe 10 pounds.  But even 10 pounds can make a huge difference in the way you feel).

My oldest son, Grant, looking into graduate schools, which will most likely take him far away from home.

My 3rd son, Alex, taking AP tests, and applying to colleges.  Alex graduating from high school.

My youngest son, Matthew, finally finishing Jr. High, and moving on to High School.

Both younger kids working on finishing up requirements for their Eagle Scout awards.

Me starting a business, coaching people to their healthy weight and better health.

Rick and I working on finishing our basement.

Buying a riding mower for our .75 acre lawn (after 11 years of using walking mowers).

Cleaning up the yard.

Our dog, Cocoa, recently starting to show many signs of aging rapidly.

These changes, and others, have apparently had a profound impact on the one person who isn't around to witness them - Michael.  And he had some thoughts to share with us about this subject.  I thought I'd post a few of those thoughts here:

"This last week and then these letters that I got from all of you have left me with an odd feeling. Things are changing a lot in everyone's lives. BUT! The one thing that won't change, will absolutely never change is the love that our Savior has for us. In all of your changes... in all parts of your lives... don't ever forget that."  Of course, because Michael is on a religious mission, the Savior is very much a huge presence in his life right now, and I appreciated the reminder that He should be a presence in mine as well.  As I went through my cancer journey, I saw many miracles wrought in my behalf.  Christ's presence was felt on a daily basis.  I need to feel that in my life again.

Michael then quoted a beautiful scripture from the bible to us:  "For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."  Romans 8:38-39

And finally... here is the advice Michael gives to each of his brothers (I hope sharing this spiritual stuff doesn't offend anyone.  There is one thing that keeps a "missionary mom" going - one thing that makes up for being away from her child for 2 years - and that one thing is letters like this one that Michael wrote. Being able to witness the change in him - from child to man - that makes it all worth it.  I was a missionary mom when I went through cancer 3.5 years ago - my oldest son, Grant, was serving in Japan for two years.  That was, to say the least... hard.)

"Alex, the most important thing throughout time and all eternity that you have power over right now is your worthiness and preparation for your mission. Let NOTHING come in the way. Let no decision in your life not be shaped by your need to serve the Lord."

"Matthew, do all you can to keep yourself clean in an increasingly filthy world. You're entering into a time into your life in which your faith and testimony will be tested more than it ever has before (that goes for you too Alex). Do all you can to obtain and strengthen that testimony."

"Grant... in all things remain faithful to your temple covenants and attend the temple OFTEN."

The tone of Michael's letter makes me wonder if there have been changes in his life recently, too.  What kinds of things are weighing him down?  What challenges does he face every day?  Whatever the challenges, I know Michael will find it within himself to overcome them... just like I did when challenged with cancer.

Richard Nixon once said: "Only if you've been in the deepest valley can you ever know how magnificent it is to be on the highest mountain."  Michael is finding this out - as he helps change lives for the better.  And I found this out - as I literally journeyed through the deepest valley.  As we both climb the highest mountain, we are learning how really magnificent the view is, thanks to our willingness to make positive changes, improve ourselves, and help others.

One more sweet thing from our missionary:  he ended his letter with this...

"Mom and Dad, I love you. I don't know where I would be or what I would be doing if I had not had the love and guidance of two righteous and loving parents. My patriarchal blessing states that, "like Nephi, you have been born of goodly parents". I would be able to testify of the reality of a patriarchal blessing were it only for that phrase that is found in mine."

*Sigh*  Life is SO good. :)

-Kara