THURSDAY THOUGHTS - The Last Turn in My Life's Road Will Be The Best!

Guest Post -

Last Wednesday I left our home earlier than usual so I could make it on time to my yearly check up with my doctor. I rushed in after parking the car, looked at the clock which said 7:40, breathed a sigh of relief that I was on time, plopped in a chair and grabbed a magazine. As I began to read, a woman caught my eye as she does each time I come into the office. I would say she is 70-75 years old with glasses, white curly hair, a few well placed character lines and a smile she shared generously with each patient she checked in. She was proficient with all of the computer commands, a skill which required effort to master for those of us who didn't grow up with computers. She reminded me of a quote I heard years ago, although I can't remember where: "A smile is a light in the window of your face that shows the heart is at home." Her heart was definitely at home and she possessed a simple beauty that can't be bought at any price; it is earned by a life well lived. To me she was more beautiful than the emaciated models we see at every turn these days.

Being one of those people who enjoys working, I loved that fact that she was still in the work force and contributing in a productive way. Her name is Jo and I told her in all earnestness, "You are my hero. I want to be just like you when I'm your age." Her smile got even wider as she said, "I love my job... this place just keeps me going."

Henry Van Dyke once said, "I shall grow old, but never lose life's zest; because the road's last turn will be the best." Because of the significant advances in cancer care, I feel my older years will definitely be my best. Thanks to the science of mammography, my cancer was a bump in the road; not a road block so huge that it ruined my life. It has, however, colored the way I view life, relationships, challenges, and just about everything. I see more beauty in the little things around me each day, and my sense of gratitude has reached a level I never knew before. In this sense, cancer has blessed my life.

As I left the doctor's office that day, I stopped for a moment and watched Jo as she shared her smile with each patient she signed in. She had such style! I then headed to face the challenges of the day, encouraged and determined to be more like Jo as I greeted my clients at the bank. I also hoped that when I am her age, I will still be going strong. I want the last turn of my life's road to definitely be the best!

-Kathy Christensen
Survivor
Member, Lifting Hearts

THURSDAY THOUGHTS - When You Are Beautiful at 99

For the last three years my husband and I have paid monthly visits to a woman who lives at the Seville Retirement Community. Bessie Carson will be 99 years old on April 2, and visiting her has blessed our lives. We always leave in a positive state of mind and it has to do with the feelings we experience while we are there. Allow me to explain.

Bessie stand about five feet tall and is just plump enough to keep her face from those endless prune wrinkles that many older women acquire as they age. She has that beautiful curly white gray hair and her eyes sparkle as we connect spirit to spirit. Those eyes seems to escort us into an obviously happy soul. She dresses in comfortable cotton house dresses with bright colors (the kind my grandma used to wear). As we seat ourselves on her couch, she settles in to her chair and covers her knees with her special quilt. We immediately feel a sense of comfortable peace.

Her apartment is small but there are pictures everywhere of children, grandchildren, great grandchildren, and great great grandchildren; evidence of a life well lived. We feel a great sense of family unity there. Bessie changes the positions of these pictures from time to time, but there is one picture that never moves. It is a black and white photo of her daughter on her wedding day. This daughter died of cancer many years ago. As we see that picture each time we visit, we feel a sense of hope.

Bessie left her first husband and buried her second husband a few years back, so she knows in a very real way about loss. The last time we visited, she was carefully going through her jewelry. Her second husband was a jeweler by profession. She tells us about many of the pieces he made her and we feel her sense of pride.

An avid sports enthusiast, Bessie watches every BYU and Jazz game on her old TV. It isn't a flat screen or HDTV, but it seems fine for her. We have watched parts of many games with her. She even watches reruns of the old games. I feel sure she still watches Jimmer upon occasion! During these times, we feel her sense of enthusiasm.

Her son, Robert, visits every day and the last time we were there, he had a plastic sandwich bag laid out with four pills and a glass of water. We assure Robert that we will make sure Bessie takes them before we leave. This act of concern makes us feel a great sense of family love.

Some days Bessie feels better than others. During one particular visit, she said she was having stomach problems. She looks at us and with a chuckle says, "This is a pretty old stomach!" At this remark we reel her keen sense of humor.

As we prepare to leave we make sure Bessie takes her medicine and I remember a quote from my past. "You can take no credit for beauty at sixteen, but if you are beautiful at sixty, it is your own soul's doing." I would like to expand on that to say when you are beautiful at 99... well, when I grow up I want to be just like Bessie!

Kathy Christensen
Survivor
Guest Blogger

ALMOST WORDLESS WEDNESDAY - Unique Beads

So, this post is super late today - I've been sick in bed, and really didn't want to get on the computer today - well, actually, for the last two days. Sorry about the lack of posting.

Today's Almost Wordless Wednesday is all about these stunning handmade glass beads I found on THIS website. They are so beautiful, I just sigh every time I look at them. I tried to pick out my favorite pink beads - ENJOY!










Beautiful, right? I love looking at these beads. I have no idea how these are made, and can't imagine the time and talent that goes into each individual bead. Each one is so unique and beautiful. It reminds me that each of us is a beautiful and unique woman and survivor!

MONDAY MENTIONABLES - The High Cost of Beauty...

Last night, while I was getting ready for bed, I realized that I've added some things to my "beauty" routine since I was diagnosed with cancer - things I don't think I EVER would have added if I didn't have to...

1. I'm using Latisse eyelash growing/thickening solution on my eyelashes at night.
2. I'm using LiBrow eyebrow growing/thickening solution on my eyebrows every day right before my makeup goes on.

These two items are a must in my routine now, because my eyelashes and eyebrows have not grown back like I wished. It's depressing. But, I will say that these two items really do work! I'll continue to use them.

3. I now have to use a concealer under my eye, because of the dark circles chemo gave me (thanks chemo).

Besides the dark circles under my eyes, I also have very uneven skin tone. I don't like to wear liquid foundation, but I do use a powder concealer that works pretty well. My favorite face makeup is Mary Kay Simply Flawless - I've been using it for years.

4. My skin looks much older now, so I am using two new (to me) products on my face - one in the morning and one at night...

Day: Olay Regenerist Regenerating Serum. My skin just sucks this in - I love it.

Night: Olay Regenerist Night Recovery Moisturizing Treatment. This smells so yummy. It's a little bit heavier than the Regenerating Serum, though.

5. I now have several scars, and I'm using Palmer's Cocoa Butter Oil on those. It's amazing.

6. To thicken my hair, I'm trying to remember to take vitamins and drink a whey protein shake. It does help.

Phew! ALL of that is added to what I normally do each day (makeup, hair care, etc.) I'm pretty high maintenance! And, the older I get, the higher the cost to keep me happy! Haha!

What kinds of products do you use now, since your cancer diagnosis? What is your #1 favorite product?

MONDAY MEMOIRS - Becoming Real...

I just read a great post on Writing Through Cancer. I was looking for ideas for writing prompts, and this is a site I sometimes go to for inspiration. The post for this week is absolutely beautiful. In fact, it has to do with just that - beauty. The author, who I believe is Sharon Bray, talks about the struggle cancer survivors sometimes have with their new bodies. It made me think about my body, and the changes it has been through...

I would be lying if I said that it has been easy - getting used to this new body I have. It hasn't. In fact, I'll never, ever forget that moment when the bandages came off - after my bi-lateral mastectomy. I was with my best friend, Lori. The doctor took the bandages off, and then stepped out of the office for a minute. I stood up - scared to death to look in the mirror and see what wasn't there. Lori and I stood side by side staring into that mirror. It took my breath away. I remember the feeling of loss - wishing I wouldn't have gone through with it. Wishing I could go back and make a different decision, even though I knew my decision was the right one for me. I would never look the same again. I took me quite a long time to come to terms with my new look. I was nervous (understatement of a lifetime!) to show my husband. I don't know why - I should have known that he'd love me, no matter what. But, it wasn't easy. I've gradually become used to the way I look, and I'm grateful for the work my doctor has done. It's made me "whole" again.

Sharon Bray talks about the Velveteen Rabbit - how he wants to become real. I love the quote from the Skin Horse. The Velveteen Rabbit wonders how long it takes to become real... "It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in your joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

When I was newly married, I was healthy, thin, and pretty - no wrinkles, no scars, no evidence of a life lived. Now - 25 years later - I'm not thin anymore, I'm starting to lose my tight skin and find the wrinkles, and I've definitely got scars - some from childbirth, some from surgeries, and some from illness. "But these things don't matter" because I'm REAL - I'm BECOMING.

Some of us have had surgeries. Some have had chemo. Some have had radiation.

Whatever the "stops" were on your cancer journey - you've changed. You've become a little more real.

Take a few minutes to write about the changes your body has gone through during your cancer journey.

-Kara