THURSDAY THOUGHTS - White Space...Needed Tranquility

Oops! I completely forgot about this blog this week! What in the WORLD?

Guest Post: One of the most valuable tips I have learned through many years of living is to "value and protect my white space". I know that may sound a little strange, so let me explain myself.

Many of us keep our calendars over loaded, then pat ourselves on the back for all the good things we accomplish, while ignoring the knots in our stomachs, which are trying to warn us of physical and emotional overload. I was a prime example of this in my younger years. To put it mildly, I was a mess. I have found that many, if not most of life's treasured memories occur during the "white space" on our calendars; the times when we slow down enough to spiritually feel what is going on around us.

Our family meets each week for Sunday dinner. This is sacred time and nothing interferes with it unless we are out of town, and we don't travel that often. One Sunday evening after dinner was cleaned up, Allie, my granddaughter, and I were snuggled up on the porch swing. Ron and the guys were somewhere else, so it was just the two of us. We snuggled there for quite a while without saying a word to each other. Finally after about 20 or 30 minutes she looked at me and said, "Grandma, you know what?" I could tell that she wanted to tell me something that was very important to her, so I encouraged her to continue. "Well," she hesitated a bit and then told me, "When my mom and dad got divorced... I cried." It was as if she had to build up the courage to tell me a huge secret. "Of course you did," I told her, "That was a most difficult time for you." Then we snuggled some more. I couldn't help thinking to myself how many precious moments like this we miss because we are in such a rush.

While I was engaged in this train of thought, my mind traveled back some 28 or 29 years to the awful day that I nearly backed over my youngest son, Nick, with the car. I don't think there was ANY white space on my calendar back then. This accident happened because I was over committed and over extended, which caused me to be in too big of a hurry. Thankfully, his wounds, although gruesome to look at, were all of a surface nature and our doctor told us that in time, he would be good as new. To this day, whenever I hear one of those awful news stories about some parent accidentally running over a child, I stop and offer yet another prayer of gratitude that my sons' life was spared.

I am happy to report that this experience changed my life for the better. I am no longer a "human doing" and I have worked hard to schedule plenty of white space in my calendar... time to "just be". Being diagnosed with cancer was yet another wake up call in my life. I realized that my remaining years would be much healthier and more rewarding if I guarded and valued the white space on my calendar. I try to listen more carefully when my body signals that I need a break. Frazzled brains, knots in stomachs, aching feet, tired backs, and tension headaches are all trying to say, "Slow down a little... take time to 'just be' and listen to what I am trying to tell you."

Richard Carlson, the best selling author and one of my favorites, speaks to this topic: "Creating blocks of time in your calendar where absolutely nothing is planned contributes to the feeling of peace, the feeling that you have enough time... this white space time has become one of the most important schedules on my calendar and is something I have learned to protect and value... it creates a needed degree of balance that nurtures my soul. Without it, life seems too hectic and overwhelming."

This practice has added a lot of peace and a measure of needed tranquility in my life. I still work at it but it is worth the effort and assures, to a greater level, that I will be there and ready to listen the next time my grandchildren, husband... or anyone for that matter... has an important confidence to share with me.

-Kathy Christensen
Survivor
Member, Lifting Hearts

THURSDAY THOUGHTS - There Is Just Something About Them...

Have you ever seen someone walk by who has great style? Someone who catches your attention because of the way they carry themselves? Their body language exudes confidence without arrogance. There is just something about them that stands out. It is more than the way they are dressed, although they may be dressed very well. They just make you feel good to be in their presence. I know such a person. She is 90 years old, yet doesn't look a day over 70. I know enough to know that she is quite well off financially, but that is not why she amazes me. To look at her now you would never imagine all of the tragedy and heartbreak she has known. I know because I am writing her history and the more I write, the more I am amazed.

While reading one day I cam across a quote by Zane Grey that I absolutely loved regarding style:

1)To bear up under loss (even when it's a loved one).

2)To fight the bitterness of defeat and the weakness of grief (especially when it happens at home).

3)To be victor over anger (especially with our loved ones).

4)To smile when tears are close (and after they come).

5)To resist evil and base instincts (even teenagers can pull it off).

6)To hate hate and love love (especially when it concerns family members).

7)To go on when it would seem good to die (some of us can understand that one).

8)To seek after the glory and the dream (especially as we get older).

9)To look up with unquenchable faith (it can be done).

Style such as this takes practice, effort, time and a certain degree of struggle, but I feel it is worth the effort. And the most incredible part is that style like this never goes out of style!

Kathy Christensen
Survivor
Member of Lifting Hearts
Guest Blogger

THURSDAY THOUGHTS - The Night Does End, The Sun Does Rise Again, and God Does Live

Guest Blog:

I love going to bed at night. I suppose because I have one of those minds that rarely rests when I am awake, it is such a pleasure to snuggle up under my favorite quilt and know that while I am sleeping my mind will take a break as well as my body....blissful!

Many years ago my mother was given a book written by Paul H. Dunn entitled, "Variable Clouds,Occasional Rain, with a Promise of Sunshine." I loved the thoughts in it so much that I bought my own copy. I am so glad that I did this because it is no longer in print. In it, the author discusses the beauty of each new day and the opportunity it brings for a fresh start with new hope. He states:

"The Lord certainly knew what he was doing when he made twenty-four hour days. That seems to be just the right amount of time to get some good things done, but not longer than we can bear when things are going wrong. I believe he intended that when one day ends we should let go of it. Each day is a chance to begin again. It is, if you please, a rebirth. May we put each day behind us and enthusiastically reach for the new. May we find comfort in Paul's testimony that 'there hath no temptation(or challenge) taken you but such is common to man: but God is faithful who will not suffer you to be tempted(or challenged)above that ye are able; but will with the temptation(or challenge)also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.' We can bear it! There is nothing so difficult that we cannot find our way out. It can be done with his help one day at a time. I know it to be so."

This wonderful quote can apply to each of us. Cancer patients know that they conquer the disease one day at a time as they face treatments and the challenges they bring. Each one of us in our lives experience other difficulties which come in all shapes and sizes. No one is immune. Each of us have probably experienced nights so difficult to bear that we wondered if we could make it. The pain may be physical, emotional, spiritual, financial or any other variety. I know that we can be victorious and see our way through these difficult times.

Paul H Dunn says, "The night does end, the sun does rise again, and God does live." I agree with him one hundred percent!

Kathy Christensen
Survivor
Member of Lifting Hearts
Guest Blogger

MONDAY MOTIVATION - Friends Along the Way

Guest Blog Post: I'm excited to share this guest post, written by my friend, and fellow Lifting Hearts Board member, Colette Harris. Enjoy...

"During my journey with breast cancer I have made many friends along the way. Little did I realize that a park near my home would become one of them. I remember the first couple of days after my diagnosis. I was stunned. I kept asking myself, “How could this happen to me? Where do I go from here?” With a heavy heart, I decided to take my troubles to the park. Tears flowed down my face and splashed to the ground. The sun-warmed walking path graciously absorbed them and accepted them as her own. As time passed, one lap around the park became two, then three. A gentle breeze eventually dried all of my tears and the song of a bird lifted my heart. My fear was replaced with peace, and somehow I knew that I would be okay.

I didn’t visit my park for many months after my bilateral mastectomy and treatments. My last four chemo treatments were rough. Neuropathy set in and walking was a struggle. My feet were numb and my legs felt limp. I could only walk a few steps without feeling like I would fall. The little fish named Dory in the movie Finding Nemo became my hero. Her motto was “Just keep swimming; just keep swimming.” I decided that my new motto would be “Just keep moving; just keep moving.” I was determined to do whatever it took to get my legs back under me. Family members helped steady me as I attempted to walk around the block. Even with their assistance, I could only walk to the end of the street before my legs gave out. I told them I was thinking of getting a cane. That way I could practice walking on my own without having to rely on them. My daughter had a brilliant idea. She mentioned that she wanted to get into better shape after having her first baby. She suggested that I push her baby in its stroller at the park while she ran. That way she would have someone to watch her baby and I would have something to lean on while I walked. It was a win – win situation for both of us.

I was excited to once again visit my old friend, Bonneville Park. Feeling the sun on my face, hearing the laughter of children playing while pushing my beautiful granddaughter in her stroller was very therapeutic. Each week was a new victory. I cheered when I could push the stroller one lap around the park without my legs giving out. In time, it was two laps, then three. My legs were getting stronger and I could walk further without feeling like I would fall.

After several weeks of pushing my granddaughter in her stroller, I tried to walk one lap around the park without any assistance. This time, it was tears of joy that streamed from my face and splashed to the ground. Once again, the sun-warmed walking path lovingly absorbed them and shared my private victory with me.

It has now been 2 ½ years since I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I still have neuropathy, but my legs are much stronger, thanks to Bonneville Park. Last week I cheered when I walked two miles around the park without my legs giving out. Hooray! I am trying to walk six days a week. By the end of September, I hope to be able to walk three miles so I can finally walk in a 5K in October for breast cancer awareness month. There is a Making Strides Against Breast Cancer Walk October, 8th. I hope to participate. (It would be awesome if our support group could form a team and walk with me!) Thank you Bonneville Park, you have been a true friend on my road to recovery.

Post Script: August 11, 2011 was a very special day for me. That was the day that so many of you awesome survivors and your families came to my park, Bonneville Park, for our Lifting Hearts picnic. Who would have guessed that a little over a year ago we were complete strangers and now you have become such dear friends. Thank you for sharing your journey with me. It has been so much fun interacting with you at our support group meetings every month. You are like sisters to me and I love each of you. Now as I walk around the park, my mind is flooded with many wonderful memories of our evening together. Thank you for being a part of my life. Thank you for helping me feel whole.

-Colette Harris
Survivor
Member of Lifting Hearts
Director of Programming (on the Board of Lifting Hearts)
Guest Blogger

THURSDAY THOUGHTS - Having and Experiencing Are Two Very Different Things

Guest Post...

"I remember finding a plaque in a store once that read, "The most important things in life aren't things." I purchased it and hung it on my wall right between a photo of my three sons and a photo of my Grandma Belle, who died in 1988. I have a difficult time relating to many of the people I see in TV who have nothing better to talk about than their new "things." These may be cars, boats, clothes, or their latest plastic surgery. I saw one particular story about a girl who had almost everything on her body redone. To me her life seemed to be more than shallow.

I read an account of a woman who found a new life after having Cancer. She said that before she became sick she had always felt empty. She said,"That is why I needed to have more and more things. I kept accumulating more and more goods, more and more books, magazines and newspapers, more and more people, which only made everything worse because the more I accumulated the less I experienced.'Have everything, experience nothing.' You could have put that right on my front door. And all the time I thought I was empty because I didn't have enough." When she finished chemotherapy, this woman held a huge garage sale and sold more than half of what she owned. Her friends thought she had gone "chemo-crazy," but doing this enhanced her life. She said, "I had no idea what was in my drawers or on my bookshelves. I did not really know half the people whose home phone numbers were in my phone book either. Many of them never even sent me a card. I have fewer things now, and I know fewer people, but I am not empty. Having and experiencing are very different. Having was never having enough... perhaps we only have as much as we can love."

As I look at our lives now with the economy being so weak, I see that people many times have much less in a material way. Although this has been difficult for some, I think perhaps it may be a healthy scenario in many ways. Perhaps more of us are driven to take a closer look at the blessings we have and to truly experience and love each and every one of them.

Kathy Christensen
Survivor and member of Lifting Hearts
Guest Blogger

THURSDAY THOUGHTS - A Front Row Seat To The Real Experience

Guest Post...

One of my favorite authors is Dr. Rachel Naomi Remen. Her books "Kitchen Table Wisdom" and "My Grandfather's Blessings" have both had a dramatic effect on the way I live my life. I have long been an over achiever, one who finds it most difficult to sit still for very long. I am happy to report that I am becoming much better at enjoying the moments in my life, and that I am slowing down a bit. I have always been a writer of non fiction because I love to read the real life experiences of others. I feel and have always felt that there is so much we can learn from each other.

Dr. Remen states:

"Everybody is a story. When I was a child, people sat around the kitchen tables and told their stories. We don't do that so much anymore. Sitting around the table telling stories is not just a way of passing time. It is the way the wisdom gets passed along. The stuff that helps us live a life worth remembering. Despite the awesome powers of technology many of us still do not live very well. We may need to listen to each others stories once again. The stories we can tell each other have no beginning and ending. They are a front-row seat to the real experience. Even though they may have happened in a different time or place they have a familiar feel. In some way they are about us too. Real stories take time. We stopped telling stories when we started to lose that sort of time, pausing time, reflecting time,wondering time. Life rushes us along and few people are strong enough to stop on their own. Most often, something unforeseen stops us and it is only then we have the time to take a seat at life's kitchen table. To know our own story and tell it. To listen other people's stories. To remember that the real world is made of such stories. We have become solitary readers and watchers rather than sharers and participants."

I feel that the members of Lifting Hearts know the magical healing power of stories. It is on this playing field that we listen and share with each other. I have found comfort in this group and I know many others have as well. We are safe here to express our concerns, our setbacks and our victories with those who will listen and offer support. I think Dr. Rachel Naomi Remen would be very proud of all of us! We are not letting Cancer beat us... we are allowing it to make us better and stronger!

Kathy Christensen
Member of Lifting Hearts
Survivor
Guest Blogger

THURSDAY THOUGHTS - Patience and Desire

I was reading in a book this week that was given to me by a special friend. This book was written by Cheryne (Rocky) Brivik and is entitled "Be Enthused...52 Weeks of Enthusiasm." There was a quote by Robin Sharma on patience that truly resonated with me, and I want to share it with you:

"I'm impatient. I move fast and love things done now. I have a dream and wish it came true last weekend. I get an idea and I want it realized tomorrow. But life's not like that, is it? So, through my inner work, I've learned to slow down(a little). Because Good Things Take Time.

We live in a world that adores speed. But the nature of business and life is more organic. A gorgeous wine takes time to mature. A precious garden takes time to bloom. A breathtaking mountain needed time to form. And-great businesses and world-class lives are not created in a day. It's more about evolution than revolution. Those small daily improvements that, over time, lead to stunning results. It's the small steps that matter most. So, today, I invite you be patient. Focus more on consistent and steady improvements in the way you work and in the way you live. Slow and steady wins the race."

As I read this I remembered my radiation treatments. There was no way to rush them. I was there the same time five days a week for six and a half weeks. Day by day we got closer to the goal of completion. Although I never had Chemo Therapy, I know many who have undergone those treatments. Once again, they can't be hurried. One must endure the sickness and discomfort they cause in order for them to have their full curing effect. Napoleon Hill once said, "Patience, persistence, amd perspiration make an unbeatable combination for success." It is all about our perspective. Remember: "What the caterpillar calls the end, the rest of the world calls a butterfly."

Rocky further states," In understanding nature's precise timeline, we can follow the same path and enjoy the baby steps that need to be taken day to day. Instead of looking at the big picture, let's focus on the baby steps, the stepping stones, the bricks we need to build a solid house and work patiently toward our goals. Slow and steady wins the race. There is no need for impatience because each day is one day closer to where we are going. Each day is exactly where we need to be- today may be happy, today may be sad, today may be success, or today may be failure. Whatever it is, it's all the precision of timing-enjoying the moment and being in present... waiting patiently for the moment of triumph."

Kudos to all of you Cancer survivors. I feel that we understand more than many, the concept of patience and the desire to "Keep on Keepin' on!" (my grandmother's famous quote).

Kathy Christensen
Breast Cancer Survivor
Guest Blogger
Member of Lifting Hearts

THURSDAY THOUGHTS - Prayer: As Real As Terrestrial Gravity

Guest Post:

I am now writing the history of a most remarkable woman. She is 90 years old but looks no older than 75. Her life has been a work of faith in action. She was asked once how she raised six children who have wonderful value systems in tact. Her answer was simple yet profound. She answered this question with three simple words,"On my knees." As I spent hours with this woman, Eloise Stokes, I realized that her testimony of the power of prayer has carried her through a life that, like each of ours, has had all kinds of experiences; the good; the painful; the frustrating and the victorious. Writing her story has been and continues to be a most enlightening adventure for me.

Dr. Alexis Carrel shared the following thoughts about prayer:

"Prayer is a force as real as terrestrial gravity. As a physician I have seen men, after all other therapy had failed, lifted out of disease and melancholy by the serene effort of prayer. Only in prayer do we achieve that complete and harmonious assembly of body,mind and spirit which gives the frail human its unshakable strength."

I want to add my own thoughts on prayer. It IS a real force; one that can give each of us strength far beyond our own. I have had experiences where prayer gave me comfort that I could have recieved from no other source. How wonderful it is to have this communication with one who is so much wiser than we are; whose eternal perspective helps us carry on with strength that we can get nowhere else. I know there are those who say that prayer is an emotional crutch. To them I would answer, "I can't think of a better one!" It sure beats drugs, alcohol, pornography, apathy and the countless other crutches out there that people turn to for answers.

Kathy Christensen
Guest Blogger
Breast Cancer Survivor
Member of Lifting Hearts

THURSDAY THOUGHTS - Our Need For Some Degree Of Privacy

GUEST POST:

During much of my life I have been a helpless overachiever. I felt (mistakenly by the way) that the more I got done, the better person I was. I didn't feel productive unless I was busy going somewhere or doing something. Now don't get me wrong, I have had many marvelous experiences that I would not trade, but as I get older, I realize the critical importance of some degree of privacy in our lives.

Richard Carlson has this to say about the subject:

"Your home is your haven, an escape from the outside world. When you allow too much of the craziness from the outside to enter your home, you eliminate, or at least reduce, a potential source of peace. While most of us are concerned with protecting our physical safety, and will take steps to secure it, we often forget or even neglect our emotional and spiritual "safety." We can do this , at least in part, by honoring our need for some degree of privacy. Protecting and respecting your own privacy is a statement to yourself and others that you value yourself and your peace of mind."

I loved this concept because peace of mind is at such premium in this crazy world we live in. Sometimes we may have to say no to an opportunity if it interferes too much with our private lives. I remember once many years ago when I was directing a dance festival for our [church]. Rehearsals were finished and I was exhausted from dragging my three children with me everywhere. While we were on our way to the cast party, I mistakenly thought I had all of the children in the car and I nearly backed over my youngest son. Thankfully, I heard him cry, hit the brake and sat there in my car frozen with fear....afraid to even look at what had happened. He was OK....pretty banged up, but all surface wounds that would heal with time.

This event changed my life. I realized that there was nothing noble about the knots in my stomach when I took on too much responsibility. I also learned in a most dramatic way that saying "no" is not always selfish.....sometimes it is smart. So now I value my privacy and I am not so quick to overextend myself. When I begin to feel those familiar knots starting to form, I reevaluate my energy level and decide what cuts to make to restore my peace of mind.

Women with cancer need to be even more aware of this because radiation, chemo, and other treatments greatly diminish our energy levels. Remember that your peace of mind is worth more to you and your family than any opportunity out there and that YOU are the person in charge of protecting it.

Kathy Christensen
Guest Blogger
Breast cancer survivor

THURSDAY THOUGHTS - Living From Your Heart

GUEST POST:

"I remember my husband telling me once to listen to my heart when making decisions. He told me that our brain gets so overloaded that many times our thinking gets clouded. He continued to tell me that "your heart will never lie to you, whereas your brain is often influenced by things that are currently happening in your life."

I recently found a quote by one of my favorite authors, Richard Carlson, which seconds this most wonderful concept:

'Living from your heart means that you choose a life and style that are true for you and your family. It means you make important decisions because they resonate with your heart and your own values, and not necessarily with those of others. Living from your heart means that you trust your own instincts more than the pressures from advertising or the expectations of society, neighbors and friends.

Living from your heart is about trusting that quiet voice within you that emerges when you quiet down enough to listen. It's that voice that speaks to you from a place of wisdom and common sense instead of from frantic chatter and habit. When you trust your heart rather than your habits, new insights will pop into your mind. As you learn to live from your heart you will become calmer, happier, and less stressed. you will be living your life instead of everyone else's.

The way to live more from your heart is to commit to doing so. Ask yourself questions like, "How do I really want to live my life?" Am I following my own path or am I doing things simply because I've always done them this way, or because I am living up to someone else's expectations?" Then simply quiet down and listen. Rather than trying to come up with an answer, see if you can allow the answers to come to you as if out of the blue.

Living from your heart is one of the foundations of inner peace and personal growth. It will encourage you to be kinder and a great deal more patient. Give it a try. You'll be surprised, even delighted, at what you might discover.'

I feel that cancer patients learn to do this more than most other people. They are driven to, because of living with CANCER (very probably the most feared word in the English language.) Kudos to all of you as you make this journey with courage, determination and tenacity. Living from your hearts gives you peace along the way and enables you to reach out and help others as you go along.

Kathy Christensen
Guest Blogger
Sister Survivor

THURSDAY THOUGHTS - Breathes Peace To Our Souls

Guest Post:

"This thought comes from Don Piper entitled “90 Minutes in Heaven.” He actually died, went to Heaven for a short time then returned and became the “Minister of Hope,” speaking all across the country assuring others that Heaven is real and the best is yet to come. This excerpt has some unique references to the Holy Spirit that resonated with me:

“ In this life we all have bad times. Stress, sickness, disappointments and heartaches. Most of us, especially if we’re Christians, would also say that we have had more good times than bad. We can trust that the best is yet to be. The proof we have, in the words of the apostle Paul, is that God has given us the Holy Spirit as a token or a down payment. It’s like earnest money in a real estate deal. The gift of the Holy Spirit is like writing us a promissory note for fulfillment when we reach the gates of heaven. At times all of us have down times and even moments of despair, but we don’t have to stay down. That’s the difference between us and those who never know the true joy of the Christian experience."

"James Faust also shares the following thoughts about the Holy Spirit. He says that, “It calms nerves and breathes peace to our souls. It can be with us 24 hours a day during our most stressful times.” I want to add my witness that the Holy Spirit has encouraged and sustained me when nothing else could. I know that it is a source of strength for each of us if we humble ourselves enough to be open to its guidance. I am sure that countless Cancer survivors know this as well as I do. I can’t imagine my life without this most significant gift. When we listen to the promptings we receive from this source, we can also be of great help to those around us; we become instruments in God’s hands. I honestly feel that those who started the Sister Survivors group were very in tune with the Holy Spirit. They have helped so many of us and in turn we have caught the vision as we continue to help and encourage each other."

Kathy Christensen
Guest Blogger
Sister Survivor


Thanks for your words of encouragement, Kathy. This group really is something special!
-Kara

THURSDAY THOUGHTS - Half a Hundred Ripples

For some strange reason, Blogger wasn't allowing me to post yesterday. I'm glad it's working today, because our guest blogger, Kathy, sent in a great post. Here you go...

How many of you have ever felt insignificant? Like the tasks you perform and the efforts you invest are not noticed very much? I think we all feel this way at times as we see the headlines featuring public figures whose lives many times seem more worthwhile and on a much grander scale than our own. I recently read a poem by James Foley whose beautifully expressed thoughts gave me great comfort and I want to share it with you:

DROP A PEBBLE IN THE WATER

Drop a pebble in the water; just a splash, and it is gone;
But there's half a hundred ripples circling on and on and on,
Spreading, spreading from the center, flowing on out to the sea.
And there is no way of telling where the end is going to be.

Drop a word of cheer and kindness; just flash and it is gone;
But there's half-a-hundred ripples circling on and on and on,
Bearing hope and joy and comfort on each splashing dashing wave
Till you wouldn't believe the volume of the one kind word you gave.

Drop a word of cheer and kindness; in a minute you forget;
But there's gladness still a-swelling, and there's joy a-circling yet,
And you've rolled a wave of comfort whose sweet music can be heard
Over miles and miles of water just by dropping one kind word.

I loved this poem so much because it gave me more confidence in my efforts no matter how small they may seem to me. We really don't have to look very far to see someone who could benefit from a kind word or gesture. So let's give oursleves credit for the kindesses we share and perfect our ability to be aware enough to share and give of ourselves more freely. As with most things in this world, practice makes perfect.

Kathy Christensen
Guest Blogger
Sister Survivor

THURSDAY THOUGHTS - These Things I Ask For

I was reading through some materials and came across this thought by Charlene Bailey Hardcastle, that I found really appealed to me, so I wanted to share it for this week's Thursday Thought:


THESE THINGS I ASK FOR

I care not whether worldly wealth is mine,
Nor if fame and fortune linger at my door,
Yearning for thrills is now all but forgotten,
As childhood fade these things alone I ask for.

LAUGHTER, for the world is bleak without it;
MUSIC, for my heart is full of song;
VIRTUE, so I might walk with head erect;
STRENGTH, to help some weary soul along;
LOVE, that my heart may e'er be tender;
COMFORT, I, too, have known grief's stinging lash;
HONOR, that my soul may not be tarnished;
JUDGMENT, to separate the pure from trash;
WISDOM, better to cope with problems;
LOYALTY, to give my country aid;
ENDURANCE, for I know too well my weaknesses;
COURAGE, to speak for justice unafraid;
OBSERVING EYES, to see the needs of others
and to lend a hand, as on life's course they plod;
and last, but to me the most important,
THE POWER OF PRAYER, for I would talk with God.

All I can say is AMEN to the thoughts that Charlene so eloquently expressed. Carry on, Sister Survivors. We will keep sharing these wonderful qualities and values with each other as we care for one another along our journeys with Cancer.

Kathy Christensen
Guest Blogger
Sister Survivor

THURSDAY THOUGHTS - All Peachy in Some Way

A long time ago (36 years to be exact) I heard a talk in [church] that I wrote down and immediately committed to memory. I suspect that I must hold the record on this because I many times cannot remember from week to week the subjects that are spoken about. The young girl who gave the talk was obviously scared to death. She was nervous, squirming, her voice cracked and I am sure she was greatly relieved when the talk was over. I wonder how pleased she would be now to know what a profound affect her words have had on me over these many years. She quoted a poem that reads as follows:

"You cannot change your nature, it's far beyond your reach;
If you were born a lemon, you'll never be a peach;
There's the law of compensation and that's the law I preach;
You can always squeeze a lemon, but can only squash a peach!

Now why did that little poem resonate with me so much on that day so long ago? As I analyzed this situation, I think it is because as a young girl I felt like a lemon a good deal of the time. Like many of us, I at times felt that I didn't fit in or that I did not have much to offer. This poem helped me to realize that each of us has something to offer if we look hard enough. Thankfully we are all unique and we give in different ways.

For instance, I have never been good at sewing or decorating, BUT I was raised in a very musical family so I can direct music and sing in choirs with no problem and I enjoy doing so. I was also quite shy by nature, but over the years have tried to be more outgoing. As a result, I have many friends who have been a wonderful support to me in my life. In school, I usually did fairly well, but I really had to hit the books, while I knew others who seemed to breeze through with very little effort. I also became involved in a variety of activities that helped me develop in various ways. As a result of these and other experiences I learned that each of us can give and help in ways that are unique to us and the gifts that we have been given. Even in Sister Survivors, I felt badly that I cannot attend more of the meetings. I work full time and have found since my Cancer experience that I must rest in the evenings because my energy level is not what it used to be. Sooooo, when Kara said she needed help with the Thursday Thoughts on the blog, I thought to myself, "I love to write and this is a way that I can contribute."

This is my 26th entry and I love doing it because it keeps me on the alert for something positive to share each week.

So, my fellow Sister Survivors, NONE of you are lemons! You each have gifts to share in your own special way. Truth be told, I think we are ALL on a journey of discovery so don't sell yourselves short.....I think as we look closely we can see that we're all "peachy" in some way or other!

Kathy Christensen
Guest Blogger
Sister Survivor

THURSDAY THOUGHTS - The Catalyst For Building Strength of Character

I feel strongly that gratitude is one of the most important principals and qualities that we can develop in this life. I have met many people who don't have very much materially, but they feel rich because they are so grateful for what they have. I have also met people who have more than most people around them, yet they are always reaching for more, feeling that there is never quite enough. Life is full of experiences and even the rough ones can teach us, although they are much less pleasant. I found yet another anonymous quote that touched me, and so I have chosen to share it with you:

"My thanks come easily when my future rises and my will is king, and all the world seems my estate. My thanks comes easily at such times, but wait--today let me reflect upon those thanks I own but which I find express themselves less fluently.

Today let me remember to give thanks not only for the sunlight, but for those darker hours which teach me fortitude. Let me profess today a grateful heart not merely for successes I may know, but as truly for those failures that teach humility. Let me express my gratitude for all of those petty inner conflicts which once resolved bring new serenity, and for those smaller distressing fears that have their ways of building such hope. Let me breathe appreciation for all those poignant sights that teach me thoughtfulness, and wrongs that teach me fairness, and for each violated trust that leaves loyalty as its lesson.

And let me not forget today to whisper thanks for these:
The contempt that teaches pity,
The tear that teaches joy,
The pain that teaches mercy,
And the loneliness that teaches love.

So now let me reflect upon these things I owe and let my thanks come easily today."

I think that Cancer and its many challenges are among these lessons that are taught in less than comfortable circumstances. In many instances, such as my own, it was an extreme wake-up call. It seemed like a bad dream, which I am sure that the members of our group can relate to. But oh, what strength, faith, compassion and friendships are born as we care for, help and and encourage each other along this difficult and often discouraging path. And so, in the long run Cancer does not beat us. It is the catalyst for building strength of character that can come in no other way. In that respect, I am grateful for Cancer and the many lessons it has taught and continues to teach me.

Guest Blogger, Kathy Christensen
Sister Survivor Member

THURSDAY THOUGHTS - Stop, Take a Deep Breath, Slow Down, and Enjoy...

I have learned in my life that no matter what situation we are in, relaxed and calm is the best way to be. This is not natural state for me. In fact, I have to practice staying relaxed. I love Richard Carlson's thoughts on learning to stay centered. He says:

"Regardless of your specific concerns, or what issues you are currently being confronted with, learning to stay centered is bound to help you... A person who is centered is able to remain calm in the midst of crisis and is able to make wise, appropriate decisions on an ongoing basis. Being centered also keeps you from being bothered or annoyed by the little things and assists you in keeping your cool. The easiest way to learn to be centered is to keep you attention in the present moment as much as possible...

Generally speaking, if you are feeling stressed, your mind will be in one of two places--in the past or in the future. Being centered brings with it a feeling of calm and ease. When you can maintain a sense of well-being even in the midst of chaos, you'll discover that life is much easier to deal with and far more manageable than when your attention is scrambled and frantic. Rather than remembering the hard day you had yesterday, or anticipating the difficult day you are likely to have tomorrow, you'll be more able to make today the best it can possibly be."

I love these thoughts. I remember when I was much younger I was a helpless overachiever... I used to think that the more I got done the better person I was. I was truly a "human doing" more than a "human being." While I am not suggesting that all of us lay around and do nothing, I am suggesting that if we remain centered and calm while accomplishing our daily tasks, that we will get just as much done and be much happier. We will also be more aware of those around us and more able to lend a helping hand when needed. So stop, take a deep breath, slow down a bit and enjoy the beauty around you. I can promise that life will be much sweeter and less frantic if you do so.

Speaking of enjoying things, my grandchildren will be arriving soon to spend the weekend with us. I am planning to stay centered and focused on this wonderful opportunity to enjoy them and all the fun we are going to have just being together.

Kathy Christensen
Sister Survivor
Guest Blogger

THURSDAY THOUGHTS - "Wow! What a Ride!"

It amazes me how many wonderful and inspiring thoughts are posted without giving the author credit. And so, once again I am posting a most wonderful excerpt and I don't know who wrote it. However, the analogy is well expressed and is great food for thought. This is quoted from a three minute speech that was given at the American Mothers convention last week:

One beautiful spring morning when I was a teenager, I had the rare opportunity to take a ride in a hot air balloon. I loved it. I loved watching the world shrink below me and the sheer beauty that such a different vantage point allowed. I could see everything from a whole new perspective. At that time I had no idea that what was making our ride so beautiful was FIRE, and the heat it generated as it lifted us high into the sky.

Four years ago our fifth child, a daughter named Lucy, was born with six toes on one foot. The doctor quickly assured us that it was much more common than we realized and that it could be removed without a fuss. Just like that teenager in that balloon years before, I had no idea at that time what FIRE that seemingly insignificant extra little toe would bring into our lives. A couple of years later that toe would lead to a diagnosis of a rare genetic syndrome that would cause a myriad of health issues, most heart-breaking for us: imminent blindness.

Although our journey has certainly been a refiner's fire, I would never trade it. It has made my children glow with compassion, it has made me be a more deliberate mother, and my dear husband, well, he's still trying to figure our whether he likes this fire much at all. But that's OK. Some fires last a long time.

Everyone has some unexpected fire in their lives whether they are on the surface or deep down inside. Our fires are sometimes big and sometimes small....things ranging from your seven year old thinking it's funny to call 911 (like what happened at our house last week) or they could be smouldering long term fires like having to deal with drug or alcohol addictions, or losing a loved one. But I'd venture to say that as we look back on these fires, big or small, we would probably all agree that they, although at times horribly painful, have elevated us as they have given us a new perspective in life to make us stronger.

I love this quote from Rick Warren: "Life is a series of problems: Either you are in one now, you're just coming out of one, or you're ready to go into another one. The reason for this is that God in more interested in your CHARACTER than your COMFORT."

Just like a ride in a hot air balloon, sometimes the wind takes us places we may not want to go. But we have to train ourselves to cherish the new vantage point that the fires in our lives give us, and eventually we find that these fires are what elevate us to become the kinds of mothers (or fathers) God wants us to be.

In closing, I want to share one more quote:"Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved piece, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW--WHAT A RIDE!"

May we all go forth and remember that fire has the power to elevate only if we will allow the hand of God to help us through the hottest, most smouldering parts."

Kathy Christensen
Guest Blogger
Sister Survivor

THURSDAY THOUGHTS - The Art of Temperance

While writing the history of a dear friend of mine, I found an excerpt written very lightly in pencil in her own hand writing that she had found in a magazine article somewhere. I thought its contents were so wonderful that I decided to use if for this weeks entry. It reads:

"Lord, thou knowest that I am growing older. Keep me from being too talkative and particularly keep me from falling into the habit of expressing an opinion on every subject. Please release me from the craving to straighten our everybody's affairs. Keep my mind free form the recital of endless details. Give me wings to get to the point. Give me the grace, Dear Lord,to listen to others describe their aches and pains. Help me to endure the boredom with patience and to keep my lips sealed. For my own aches and pains are increasing in number and intensity and the pleasure of discussing them is becoming sweeter as the years go by. Teach me to be reasonably sweet; I do not wish to be a saint (saints are so hard to live with) but a sour old woman is the crowning work of the Devil. Make me thoughtful but not moody; helpful but not pushy; independent yet able to accept with graciousness, favors that others bestow on me. Free me of the notion that simply because I have lived a long time, that I am wiser than those who have not lived as long. If I do not approve of some of the changes that have taken place in recent years,give me the wisdomcto keep my mouth shut. Lord knows that when the end comes, I would like to have a friend or two left."

I absolutely loved this quote. It reminds me of the word TEMPERANCE which is mentioned in the scriptures in many places. Temperance is the art of shutting our mouths before others want to shut them FOR us. It is food for us to remember that there is a time and a place for everything and sometimes silence is the best medicine of all.

Kathy Christensen
Sister Survivor
Guest Blogger

TUESDAY TIDINGS - The Power of Positive Thinking

I recently received an email from Tim Elliot, who wrote the following:

"I am very passionate about maximizing cancer patient's mental and physical health and how best to cope with terminal illness. I feel that I could write a compelling article that would be of great interest to the readers of Sister Survivors."

Tim sent me a well researched article that I'd like to post here. I was especially interested in the third paragraph, where Tim writes about cancer support groups having a strong positive effect on cancer patients. There are links throughout the article that you can click on to read his sources...

The Power of Positive Thinking

As more and more studies begin to show the connection between positivity and health, there is a growing consensus that positive thinking can have a strong effect on cancer treatment and longevity. Scientists studying the new field of physchoneuroimmunology, which explores the interaction between the nervous and immune systems of the body, have discovered that positive emotional experiences can often boost the immune system.

Although an exact link between positive thinking and cancer treatment is still unclear, what is certain is that there is a direct, harmful connection between stress and cancer. Both cortisol and norepinephrine, chemicals that are produced in significant amounts when you are stressed, are proven to have an effect on tumor growth. Norepinephrine has been shown to help induce cancerous tumor cell growth in mice and is thought to possibly play a role in ovarian cancer in humans.

As the importance of positivity and emotional and mental well-being becomes more and more a part of cancer treatment, doctors have begun emphasizing the importance of cancer support groups. Because support groups act as a buffer allowing cancer patients or survivors a chance to discuss their emotions and reactions with others who have been through similar experiences and help build lasting relationships they often have a strong positive effect on a cancer patient or survivors’ outlook. Even in cancers caused by environmental toxins, such as mesothelioma, and genetic factors, such as breast cancer there is evidence of support groups benefitting the mental, emotional, and even physical condition of patients. For example, the average mesothelioma life expectancy is only a little over a year- but patients who have been in support groups as part of a healthy lifestyle can extend it by up to several years, part of which can largely be attributed to a more positive outlook.

Of course, even for patients and survivors in a cancer support group it can be extremely difficult to stay positive when coping with cancer. But with more and more information coming to light about the possibility of positive thinking affecting tumor growth, it’s important to remember that that phrase we always hear- “Just stay positive”- might have a lot more power to it than you ever thought.

Part of the reason I helped to start this support group was my belief that talking with other breast cancer survivors is critical to the healing process. I'm happy to read in the article above, that doctors are beginning to see the importance of support groups for cancer patients, too.

Thanks to Tim for the article. I enjoyed reading it - I hope you did, too. Comment if you'd like to!

-Kara

THURSDAY THOUGHTS - Outliving Your Self Judgments...

In her book, "Kitchen Table Wisdom" Rachel Naomi Remen shared the following thoughts:

"The life in us is diminished by judgement far more frequently than by disease. Reclaiming ourselves usually means coming to recognize and accept that we have in us both sides of everything. We are capable of fear and courage, generosity and selfishness,vulnerability and strength. These things do not cancel each other out, but offer a full range of power and response to life.

Life is as complex as we are. Sometimes our vulnerability is our strength, our fear develops our courage, and our woundedness is the road to our integrity. It is not an either or world. It is a real world. What a blessing it is to outlive your self judgments and harvest your failures."

What great food for thought!

Kathy Christensen
Guest Blogger
Sister Survivor