THURSDAY THOUGHTS - Fox Hole Buddies

This week has been one of the most difficult yet most memorable weeks of my life. I have been
in Ivins, Utah at the home of my parents with our family to spend our last moments with my mother. She has suffered for many years with Multiple Myeloma (Cancer of the bone marrow) and she is very near death. The disease has taken a once vibrant and healthy woman down to almost nothing. Mother always wanted to be thin and she had tried her entire life to achieve that goal. Cancer has taken her beyond thin to emaciated. As we gathered around around the hospital bed in her home I sensed an incredible unity in our family. I was among the best fox hole buddies that could be found anywhere in the world.

Fox hole buddies don't care what you look like; They don't care how much money you have; They don't care how much you weigh or how you dress; They don't care what your differneces are; They don't care how big your house is or where you live; Our foxhole was different than most others. We were all together in a 1200 square foot home which my brother affectionately named "The Command Post." From this base we kept all members of our forces connected and updated on what we came to call "Operation Linger."

Most foxholes fight against enemies such as bullets, bombs and other forms of artillery. We had one enemy plain and simple and that was PAIN. Our weapons were morphine (pill and liquid form), Lortab,and Lorazapam(liquid and pills). We were dressed better than the rag tag armies in the Civil War, but our forces stood united and strong with prayer, strong faith and unified love for our mother. I am sure that we ate better than any one in any foxholes I have ever heard of. Daddy's snack counter expanded and retreated according to the number of our forces who were present. During the weekend we were all together we had ample supplies of Crunch and Munch, Cheetos, Fritos, Pecan Sandies, licorice, almonds, snack crackers, trailmix, and most importantly an endless supply of Coke Classic in the fridge. After all, members of any command post must be well nourished right?

Fox hole buddies "have your back." When one is tired or not at his best, another stands up to take his place. We had enough of us to do that for each other. Some of us had to get back to our jobs, so others came to replace them when they had to leave. Throughout this entire experience our forces remained strong, making sure that Daddy didn't have to face the end alone. After 61 years of marriage, we knew the end would be more difficult for him than for any of us.

As write this entry, it is my 59th birthday and the battle is still going on. I don't know when it will end, although for our mother's sake, we hope it will be soon. However, this has been one of the sweetest and most bonding experiences of my entire life. How therapeutic it is has been to put away past differences and to unite in the most noble of all missions....to send our mother on to the next life with no regrets. I feel that the most important Commander of all is looking down on us with a big smile.

Kathy Christensen
Survivor
Member of Lifting Hearts

**Our hearts and prayers are with Kathy and her family at this time. Kathy - thanks so much for your dedication to us and this blog, for sharing your personal thoughts, and allowing us a glimpse of your wonderful life. We love you.

-Lifting Hearts Members

MONDAY MEMOIRS - Humpty Dumpty

Every once in a while, I visit a website called "Writing Through Cancer". This website is the brainchild of Sharon Bray, a writer, teacher, and author. It was inspired by her own journey through cancer. Each week she shares a writing prompt that anyone can use to help guide them in writing about their cancer experience. She has several months of prompts available on the website. I was searching through Sharon's prompts, and found one from the week of August 28th. This prompt started with the familiar words of this nursery rhyme:

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the king’s horses and all the king’s men
Couldn’t put Humpty together again!



As I read through these lines, and then through Sharon's own essay, I realized what a fitting rhyme this is for those of us who have had their lives interrupted by illness, tragedy, or anything else. There are so many stumbling blocks on this road we call life, and each one of those stumbling blocks changes our course. Our lives fall apart, and it's often hard to put those lives back together again.

I know in my own cancer experience my diagnosis, and subsequent journey through treatment caused many changes - not just physical changes (weight gain, nausea, lost of hair and nails, amputations, scars, loss of energy, etc.), but lifestyle changes as well (job loss, slowing down, needing help, etc.). I'm two and a half years out from my last chemo treatment, but still struggle with many things. It has been tough to "put Humpty together again".

Today, in your cancer journal, respond to this writing prompt. Talk about the "great fall" that has happened in your life (diagnosis), the "king's men and horses" (doctors and care-givers), and the puzzle of putting "Humpty together again".

"I can't go back to yesterday - because I was a different person then." -Lewis Carroll

-Kara

THURSDAY THOUGHTS - Having and Experiencing Are Two Very Different Things

Guest Post...

"I remember finding a plaque in a store once that read, "The most important things in life aren't things." I purchased it and hung it on my wall right between a photo of my three sons and a photo of my Grandma Belle, who died in 1988. I have a difficult time relating to many of the people I see in TV who have nothing better to talk about than their new "things." These may be cars, boats, clothes, or their latest plastic surgery. I saw one particular story about a girl who had almost everything on her body redone. To me her life seemed to be more than shallow.

I read an account of a woman who found a new life after having Cancer. She said that before she became sick she had always felt empty. She said,"That is why I needed to have more and more things. I kept accumulating more and more goods, more and more books, magazines and newspapers, more and more people, which only made everything worse because the more I accumulated the less I experienced.'Have everything, experience nothing.' You could have put that right on my front door. And all the time I thought I was empty because I didn't have enough." When she finished chemotherapy, this woman held a huge garage sale and sold more than half of what she owned. Her friends thought she had gone "chemo-crazy," but doing this enhanced her life. She said, "I had no idea what was in my drawers or on my bookshelves. I did not really know half the people whose home phone numbers were in my phone book either. Many of them never even sent me a card. I have fewer things now, and I know fewer people, but I am not empty. Having and experiencing are very different. Having was never having enough... perhaps we only have as much as we can love."

As I look at our lives now with the economy being so weak, I see that people many times have much less in a material way. Although this has been difficult for some, I think perhaps it may be a healthy scenario in many ways. Perhaps more of us are driven to take a closer look at the blessings we have and to truly experience and love each and every one of them.

Kathy Christensen
Survivor and member of Lifting Hearts
Guest Blogger