MONDAY MENTIONABLES - Titles We Give Ourselves

Last Thursday, at our support meeting, we heard from a breast cancer survivor - a member of Lifting Hearts. And there is something that she said that has caused me to reevaluated my life, and my priorities. As she introduced herself, she listed all of her titles, some of which were... Wife ~ Mother ~ Sister ~ Friend ~Psychologist ~ Cancer Survivor. Then, at one point in her talk, she acknowledged that we were all survivors, and that is a great thing. But, then she cautioned us to not let the title of "survivor" be the first title we give ourselves.

The next day, I saw this quote by Goethe: "Things that matter most must never be at the mercy of things that matter least." Now, I'm not saying that some of the things we do in our lives - some of the roles and titles we take on - are the "least", but they definitely are less important than other roles.

I've done a lot of thinking this week, and I've made some pretty heavy decisions:

1. I'm stepping away from a charity I've been volunteering at - Four of Hearts. I was on the board of directors - their financial director - and now... I'm not. It took up a tremendous amount of time, and although the things I did with this charity were good, compared to time with my family, they were the "least".

2. I've also decided to get a part time job. This is a hard decision for me - although I'm feeling so much better after dealing with breast cancer, and I can now work with no problem, I've enjoyed the time I've had at home, working on things that are important to me. However, my family needs the extra income, and so... I'm going back to work.

The one thing that I can't, and won't, give up, is my time spent on Lifting Hearts. This group, with all of the wonderful survivors I've met, is my lifeline. I am happy when I'm helping the women in this group, and I don't ever want to quite. These decisions are going to change my life a bit - the efforts that I put into Four of Hearts will now be directed at producing an income for my family that will go to college tuition and funding LDS missions for my kids. I'll have to arrangement my time a bit differently, depending on the job I get, so that I'll have time for my family (first) and Lifting Hearts (second). All of these changes are making me a bit nervous.

However, I'm happy with the changes I've made so far. I'm happy to focus more on my family. I'm still a survivor, but that title has moved down on my list a little bit. And the more important titles are at the top - I'm a wife and a mother first. It's time to move the "survivor" title down the list, take the things I've learned from being a survivor, and apply them to the rest of my life.

-Kara